Monday, January 10, 2011
I feel like a lonely stray kid in the big street. No one knows how i suffer through these days. No one care, no one share, everyone in the world is so selfish to mind their own business, after they finished used you to achieve their goal, get what they want, they just desert and kick you away. I am feeling extremely sad now. I almost break down. even there is, it would be a silent tear cause no one else other than me is suffering from it. It is a kind of issue that I dont wish to talk about, but keeping unhappiness inside my heart is making me hard to breathe. hope to find a place to shout everything out and release my true heart. This holiday time is the toughest time for me, it is such a suffer for me the always happy-go-lucky person to shout and get desperate and get mad at. Whenever I am out, people tend to ask me why do I look so depressed sad bored etc, I dont wished to be this too. I'm sorry. Who doesnt want to be a cheerful person? Who wish to be a idiotic pessimisitic sad emotional bastard and affect the mood of other people? Who does nt wish to enjoy themselves? Who doesnt? No one wished. I always try very hard to present myself in a smart and happy manner. But I'm sorried again. I just cant seems to do it. There are just lots of lots of unhappines inside which people just dont understand. I always wished to have a truthful pal to share my unhappines, share their troubles, lend them a hearing ear but it always turn out that people that are closes to me hurt me the most. Friends family, everyone is the same. They just dont understand how their actions words can hurt a person. I have really learnt alot these day. You can only trust yourself in this big frightening world. What you see now isnt necessarily what you will see in the future. There is just something blocking your pathway.
It's faith in something